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We’re three months into our separation, but we were unofficially separated for about six months prior to our legal separation (which I initiated).
My husband moved back to Texas to be closer to his family.
Dear 4-Way, My husband and I are divorcing after five years of marriage.
Because we live in California, we have to be separated for six months before the official divorce paperwork can begin.
Now that he’s out of my life physically and now that we’re three months away from being legally divorced, I’m ready to begin dating again.
I mentioned this to a friend and she was mortified, saying that it would be in poor taste to date anyone until my divorce is final. —AT, Newport Beach, California mean you’re in mourning.
You can and you should hold your head up high as you walk down the path to finding the right person for you. And if your friend doesn’t agree, that really says more about her than it does about you, doesn’t it?
The straight man’s perspective: Chris Kennedy Poor taste?
'Well, that's Brad and he sent me over here to tell you he loves you and wants to go steady.'Call me strange but I was far more complimented than if he'd said it across the candlelit dinner table earlier that evening, when both of us were tarted up and looking fabulous, totally unaware I was about to swallow a dodgy oyster. .' or, 'That's why I've decided to break it off – you don't feel the same way.'Another less traumatic option is to pop it at the very, very end of a conversation when you can disappear immediately after saying it.
The coward's way of saying it first is to say, 'I think I'm falling in love with you.' If they look at you in horror, you can always say, 'Don't panic, I know it's just casual with us. Like just before you walk through the doors to catch a plane or at the end of a phone call.
Believe me, he says, "I'd love to say she is my girlfriend but I don't want to put her off." The caginess seems to apply to both men and women. He would wait SIX MONTHS before saying 'I love you'. It follows then, that we are losing a sense of our real selves, of our real opinions, of our real feelings.
I ask him, on the off-chance that, you know, he might just love this girl, when would be the appropriate time to tell her? A romantic evening sunset and bottle of rose on the beach? We have a public-facing opinion where we're happy to share what we had for breakfast, the fact we hate so-and-so but simply love skinny dipping and downing shots – or whatever – but when it comes to our true emotions, we are guarded. But then he had known me already for about a year and so had, I guess, developed these feelings 'behind the scenes'. Him saying it so early on, no strings attached, gave me the control, the confidence, of being able to wait a bit until I said it back, safe in the knowledge he meant it and I knew where he stood.
The truth of the matter is that it took a while to understand what went wrong in my marriage and what my role in that was …Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating